Greetings, Miss MannersI took a quick trip to a city where an old acquaintance of mine resides with my girlfriend. She told me she didn’t have room when I called her months ago to ask if I could spend a night with her and her partner.
I’ve stayed with this woman at least 20 times in my 45 years of knowing her. Not a problem, though; we had a terrific day and reserved a beautiful spot to stay.
At first, she invited us to stay for dinner, go out on their boat, and spend the day at their house. She then abruptly stated that wouldn’t work either.
They had to drive 11 miles to get to town, so I asked if they wanted to come. Yes, she replied. They arrived at the hotel, where we all enjoyed a drink (which we supplied) by the pool before walking five minutes to a restaurant where I had a reservation.
My buddy’s partner, whom I had never seen because my friend is a recent widow, was showing us his opulent gold chain and watch during dinner. They both just sat there until the bill arrived. The bill, which was more over $300, was then taken and paid by my partner.
In retrospect, I thought I ought to have requested that they at least take care of the tip. What do you think?
GENTLE READER: Your acquaintance no longer want to host for whatever reason. And avoiding the cost of it all might have been the reason.
But because you persisted, she managed to see you and make you pay. Despite the gaudy gold accessories, it would have been impolite to ask her and her partner to pay the tip.
Miss Manners advises you to mention it to her in passing the next time you’re in town, but don’t ask to make plans.
Greetings, Miss MannersOn either side of our fence are some really good neighbors. Our own outside seating area is about 20 meters from each house’s outdoor seats. We can hear beautiful birdsong, owls at night, and other sounds because we live next to a forest.
One neighbor has expressed her desire for a tranquil life and enjoys spending the most of her days outside. Given this, can I talk at a normal volume while I’m in my garden? Or should I soften my voice a bit?
It’s definitely not rude to have a casual chat at a casual volume when I’m enjoying coffee outside with my spouse and kids. I dislike having to whisper in my own garden, but I also don’t want to annoy my neighbor.
PERSONAL READER:Miss Manners promises that you and your family are free to talk at a reasonable volume on your own land, but maybe with the stipulation that you control the noise if any of you become agitated.
With the possible exception of shouting, “Shhh, let’s be considerate of the neighbors!” merely to reward your work.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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