Greetings, Miss MannersMy spouse and I were throwing two couples we really enjoy a laid-back dinner party at our house. My two kids get along nicely with the two kids from the parents who brought them.
I had intended to prepare a dish that is generally simple for me, but in the midst of assisting the guests with kitchen supplies and providing the kids with snacks and beverages, I managed to seriously burn my one-pot meal. Only the bottom layer was scorched, but the dish had a strong, unwelcome smokey flavor that I thought was inedible.
I informed the guests that I would order takeout in place of the meal and apologized for the inconvenience. Since I wouldn’t force a dish on my guests that I didn’t like, I believed that to be the most courteous course.
After I apologized, I thought I would get some kind assurances, but one guest went too far, Miss Manners. She was adamant that everyone would eat it and that the dish was good. I am aware that she secretly believed she was saving my face, but the idea of making everyone eat burned food made me feel far more ashamed than acknowledging that something had gone wrong.
I objected. She objected in response. I demanded. She resisted!
I spent the remainder of the evening worrying that I was serving this genuinely horrible meal, but I finally gave up since I didn’t want to ruin the evening with a fight. The person who had persisted was even gracious enough to accept a second serving, and everyone muttered respectfully that the smokiness added something.
All ties were maintained and the evening went off without a hitch, but tell me, Miss Manners: How would you have handled this if you knew—just knew!—that nobody could possibly be enjoying the food?
PERSONAL READER:Could it be that your guests were so hungry that they didn’t give a damn? And that, given their growing hunger, the time it would have taken to order meals would have been agonizing?
Miss Manners does not disagree with you, to be clear. Your companion went too far; if she wasn’t permitted to represent the other attendees, she shouldn’t have done so. However, it does make Miss Manners question whether the visitors’ aim was to find food crumbs by searching the kitchen.
But since your narrative had a happy ending, you should let it go. The next time, keep a close eye on the burner and prepare some robust appetizers.
Greetings, Miss MannersMy partner and I frequently run into one of his business associates while out for our morning stroll in the park. My partner and his associate will greet each other and then start talking about work.
Their company doesn’t interest me. How can I politely carry on with my stroll without having to hear what they’re talking about?
PERSONAL READER:Let’s talk about your business, you two. I will go take care of mine.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at dearmissmanners@gmail.com, via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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