Greetings, Miss MannersBeing in posed pictures bothers me, especially now that everything is uploaded to the internet. My friends won’t let me get away with it. Oh, hurry up! Every time I say “no thanks,” they repeat.
Naturally, I take part in major events like my nephew’s wedding family photos. However, how can I avoid the regular group photos on informal occasions?
GENTLE READER: Miss Manners advises physically apologizing right before the photo is taken, leaving the photographer to speculate as to whether you are suddenly ill or simply irritated. This is an alternative to discreetly making oneself invisible in the photo (turning your back, looking down, etc.).
When you return completely healthy and balanced, you can respond, “As I mentioned, I don’t like taking pictures,” if they inquire. However, I hope yours turned out nicely.
Greetings, Miss MannersAs an experienced hairstylist, I have clients that leave after years of work. They tell me that choosing a new hairstylist and doctor are the two things they are most afraid of.
I have frequently advised them to ask women they meet whether they are accepting new clients and to respectfully ask for the name of their stylist. I’ve used that tactic to acquire new clients. The majority of women actually don’t mind being questioned.
PERSONAL READER:The important thing is to be nice. The guarantee that you won’t steal their hairdresser, give their name to too many others, or make it impossible for them to schedule an appointment yourself is also crucial, according to Miss Manners.
Greetings, Miss MannersWho should follow up to reschedule a long-planned Sunday dinner at the host’s house when the visitor cancels just a few hours prior (due to illness)? The visitor or the host?
GENTLE READER: Even if the host secretly holds animosity because the elaborately planned supper was abruptly wrecked, genuine illness is excused.
Miss Manners proposes that the host say, “I hope you are feeling better,” since it would be assumed that the visitor would reschedule the event and it is unclear when they will be well again. If you are able, we would love to reschedule for next week; if not, kindly inform us when you are completely recovered, and we will arrange a time.
Greetings, Miss MannersRecently, my ex-wife—we were divorced 40 years ago—threw a lavish catered party for her 70th birthday, which is something I would never have imagined doing. I went with a dozen of my ex’s longstanding friends, as did our daughter and her husband. She distributed copies of her self-published poetry collection to each of us.
I had a lot of conflicting feelings after it all. Is this a common occurrence and I was unaware of it? Was it an opportunity for her to be the center of attention, or was it a way for her to express her gratitude for us along the way? Either (or both) would fit with her personality as I have seen it over the years.
I’m not sure if I should be pleased for her, ashamed of her, or even depressed. What do you think?
PERSONAL READER:so it undoubtedly gave you confused material for future rumors. Miss Manners would think you’d like that. Because why should you feel sad or ashamed if your ex-wife isn’t?
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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