Greetings, Miss MannersYou can recline your seat in an airplane without asking the person behind you for permission. If your chair can recline, you can do so after the captain gives the all-clear to move.

Where in the world would you ask someone else to change the seat you paid to sit in, as you suggested? Engineers and airlines would eliminate the option if they didn’t want the seats to recline. Pass the torch and retire, or get a grip.

GENTLE READER: Definitely hold the carriers accountable. They shouldn’t have any equipment that could cause their passengers any discomfort.

And Miss Manners would be content to retire as soon as you and everyone else understand the fundamental idea that civilization cannot function without: If you treat people badly, you need not feel smart for having an advantage because others will treat you badly and everyone’s life will be unpleasant.

Why does the comfort of the person seated behind you matter to you? You might just as easily have the person in front of you drop the seat onto your lap.

That can’t happen, of course, because your complacent airline is happy to let you spend even more. However, what if another traveler feels entitled to use the public restroom in an unclean state after paying the additional fare?

You are aware—and unconcerned—that Miss Manners thinks your conceit is unattractive. However, you should also be aware that it will ultimately work against you. (Or, in the near term, if a fellow traveler has the same entitlement.)

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Greetings, Miss MannersThis year, I lost three close friends. It seems inappropriate to wish their family a Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year as the holidays get near.

Instead, I bought blank cards that say “I’m thinking of you.” In these, what do I write? Shall I reminisce about the person they lost?

I want to reassure them that their father, husband, and brother were loved by me and many others, even though I know nothing I say will make up for their loss.

PERSONAL READER:You did write condolence letters at the time, didn’t you? With your condolences and gratitude for the deceased?

Sure, share more of these memories if you have any.

However, Miss Manners realizes that if you are considering these grieving families right now, you probably recognize that they might feel especially alone during a time when other people are getting together with their family. Is there any way you can include them, like paying them a visit or, depending on their level of grief, inviting them to somewhat subdued events?

Greetings, Miss MannersCould you kindly explain what to do when a present has a price tag that is difficult to remove? Is it preferable to simply leave the price visible to everyone or to partially remove it and mark through the remainder, creating a poor sticker mess?

GENTLE READER: Please try not to create a mess while you fill it out.

Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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