Greetings, Miss MannersA buddy of a friend wrote and starred in a theatrical piece that my wife and I witnessed. Our city was formerly home to this individual. After the show, our common acquaintance suggested that we send their greetings.
I wasn’t hesitant to do so, but my wife was. The star was overjoyed to meet us and to be greeted by our friends. Other cast members who also knew our mutual buddy joined us for a lengthy conversation about the production. They all agreed that seeing someone from home was enjoyable.
It felt fantastic to be able to express directly to everyone involved how much we loved the production and how much the experience meant to us. I advise anyone in a similar circumstance who is unsure of what to do to just go for it!
PERSONAL READER:Backstage terror is a natural reaction for your wife. What if the show had not been to her liking?
It’s difficult to be polite backstage. fake praise is, well, fake, while honest criticism is impolite. However, it should be mentioned that insincerity is not the serious moral offense that some people portray it to be. It is frequently better than letting all of one’s thoughts and emotions out, no matter how damaging.
You were lucky to be able to give candid praise. However, what should you do when the program is so bad that you are unable to speak kindly?
What Miss Manners has done is That was impressive! Or just a hands-over-heart “Wow.”
She once got away with saying, “You must be so proud,” to a particularly conceited dramatist who would have skulked for more. Someone who had heard this later claimed that Miss Manners should have won a Tony Award for saying it.
Greetings, Miss MannersOver the past few years, I’ve attended a number of weddings and have observed a pattern. Do the groomsmen no longer have any obligations to the bride and groom before to, during, or following the ceremony?
The groomsmen are nowhere to be seen, save for making a brief speech or toast to the happy couple. avoiding any last-minute duties that might arise during the celebrations, such as holding doors open, bringing items, assembling relatives for that breathtaking sunset photo, or assisting the groom.
This is strange and unnerving to me. I’ve been known to help the bride cross a narrow flower-lined pathway in her long dress or to carry the groom’s drink while he is in unposed photos with friends and family. I’ve even assisted elderly relatives in finding their seats.
Shouldn’t the groomsmen be in charge of these tasks?
PERSONAL READER:Are any of the bridesmaids aware of this?
The role sounds more like a kind of indentured slavery than an honor, yet those serving are dunned for expenses, according to the depressing stories Miss Manners hears from exploited bridesmaids.
However, now that she thinks of it, she never hears groomsmen whine like this. It would be ideal if they weren’t burdened with needless expenses and chores.
They do, however, represent the bridegroom, who need to give them instructions to perform little host duties, such as the ones you mentioned, and to interact with any stranded guests.
It’s best to discuss expectations with bridesmaids before they sign on.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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