To All Readers:I wanted to share some of these letters with everyone because so many of you wrote about the widow pieces I just printed and raised some fascinating points.
To Annie, please:Whoa! I just pointed this up to my wife after seeing it in our paper. At first, she didn’t believe it, and I was as shocked. Widows who fear losing their husbands to their friends are being rejected by them! What worries me the most is that loneliness is already a national disease, and attitudes like that, which are based on mistrust or fear, only make it worse, especially as we get older.
For people who are excluding others and severing long-standing connections, it also poses some crucial questions:
First question: Have those widows ever expressed interest in your spouse?
No. 2: Do you doubt your husband’s faithfulness and loyalty?
No. 3: Why is the ex-husband being invited following a divorce? There can be unresolved emotions present.
Three fingers point back at you when you point one, goes an old proverb. Everything about the scenario is depressing. — Three More Points in Your Direction
To Three More, please:I appreciate your thoughtful letter and observations.
To Annie, please:Many years ago, when I was forty-two, I got divorced, yet none of my friends left me. I was quite clear from the beginning that I would never seek a man’s spouse because I treasured my friendships too much for that. I hosted a lot of events myself and was invited to every lunch and party.
We had an amazing time together! Since I was entertaining, vivacious, and gorgeous, I want to assume it wasn’t because I was viewed as too domestic to pose a threat. I had a very busy dating life that took place in three neighboring counties! Nonetheless, I think that culture was the true factor that kept my connections strong. Since many of us were of European ancestry or were born in Europe, our common cultural background and beliefs made a difference. — Friendships Come First
First, dear friendships:I appreciate that you and your buddies confronted the problem head-on.
To Annie, please:Over the years, Compass Club, an organization in my neighborhood, has been an invaluable resource for women. During my time as president, we changed our goal from being a newcomers club to helping women in transition, whether they are widowed, divorced, retired, or new to the neighborhood. In the 34 years that I have been a member, the club has provided friendship, support, and connections to dozens of women, making it a blessing. These organizations can be a great way to foster community and deal with life’s changes, so I urge these women to see if there are any similar ones in their area. — The Club of Compass
To Compass,I appreciate your fantastic suggestion. I hope it facilitates interpersonal connections.
To Annie, please:Carolyn Moor founded the Modern Widows Club to assist individuals in locating alternatives for healing following a loss. It began as a modest project in a widowed woman’s living room and has expanded into a network that provides cutting-edge materials and links to the local community. — One More Tip
Dear Another Tip: I think that sounds wonderful.
How Can My Partner Who Cheated Be Forgiven? is currently available! Both print and e-book versions of Annie Lane’s second anthology, which includes her favorite pieces on marriage, adultery, communication, and reconciliation, are available. For additional information, go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com. For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].
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