To Annie, please:A mother cat dropped off some kittens on my daughter’s property. She ended up only finding a home for one of them since she was quite picky about who she would give them to. Three of the kittens were left without homes when she chose to keep two of them along with her two current cats. At the onset of winter weather, she chose to release them into the wild after keeping them for seven months. These kittens were abruptly left to fend for themselves after having been raised as house cats.
Despite my love for animals and my disgust at her behavior, my daughter attends church and declares herself to be a Christian. I’m disappointed and disgusted, and I’m afraid that this may damage our relationship. Without creating conflict or saying something I could later regret, how can I address this? — A worried mother
To Whom It Concerns:Knowing that you’re upset is understandable. Have you discussed this with your daughter in an honest and considerate manner? She might not have understood the potential dangers of releasing domesticated cats into the wild. Make a gentle suggestion that she consult a veterinarian to learn more about the difficulties and risks these cats confront.
You may also highlight your concern for the welfare of house cats by sharing information on their difficulties when they are abruptly left to fend for themselves. You may support your daughter’s learning while maintaining a solid relationship with her if you talk to her in a kind, caring manner instead of passing judgment.
To Annie, please:One of the people I’ve been dating has continuously treated me like a human ATM. He demands money from me every chance he gets, usually in ridiculous amounts, and when I don’t give it to him, he acts like a child in his 50s. Even worse, he makes a lot more money than I do.
I’ve started advocating for myself lately, requesting that he return the money he has already stolen from me and refuse to comply with his demands. But when I bring up repayment, the topic becomes contentious. In his outbursts, he mercilessly makes fun of my difficulties with self-harm and declares that he wishes I would die.
His remarks simply make my anguish worse and more difficult to handle, even if I use self-harm as a coping mechanism for intense emotions. I’m stuck in this poisonous relationship and don’t know how to get out of it. How can I deal with this conduct while safeguarding my finances and emotions? — Handled Like an ATM for Humans
To Human ATM,Getting help from a qualified therapist for your self-harm is the most crucial thing you can do right now. You should get help to deal with your suffering and find better coping mechanisms.
The fact that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship is clearly evident. It is unacceptable that he would use you like a financial asset, refuse to pay back what he owes, and make derogatory remarks about your difficulties. You don’t need to put up with this.
Please get in touch with groups like your local YWCA, which frequently offers programs to assist people in similar circumstances, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You must put your financial and emotional health first because this relationship cannot last. Now is the time to look after yourself!
Annie Lane’s “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is her second anthology. Available in paperback and e-book formats, it includes popular essays on marriage, adultery, communication, and reconciliation. For additional information, go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com. For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].
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