Note: The first edition of this column appeared in 2021.
To Annie, please:My son, who is 47 years old, resides with me. He doesn’t assist with the bills and doesn’t pay any rent. He assists with some housework and yard work, but he refuses to help when I ask him to do anything I want him to. For example, he neglected to set up a Dish network while my absence.
For weeks or months at a time, he lies in bed. Around 4 p.m., he gets home from work and remains in bed until the next day, when he has to leave for work. On average, he misses one day of work every week. On weekends, he often spends the entire day in bed. He even lies in bed and eats.
He refused to move out when I asked him to. Is my only option eviction? All I want is for him to leave the room and the bed. What recommendations do you have? — Mother, I’m tired.
To Fed Up:He is prohibited from eating in bed as the first rule. It’s unhygienic and doesn’t boost his confidence. If your adult child isn’t paying rent, you could give him a 30-day notice to vacate the property, which would entail him leaving.
You wish to assist your son in helping himself as a mother. He’s being impossible, though. There may be a severe problem with your son if he ignores your desires, stays in bed, and misses work once a week. Yes, he needs to understand that he can’t keep stealing from you, but why not go to a therapist’s office or have a conversation with him directly rather than rushing to the courts?
To Annie, please:Tired of Waiting’s husband’s persistent procrastination is the reason behind this. Procrastination is one of the main signs of ADHD. When there is no other option, many people with ADHD are forced to make decisions at the last minute because they suffer with executive function, which is the ability to plan and carry out tasks. It could be worthwhile for the chronically procrastinating husband to see a professional who is qualified to diagnose ADHD. Since it will help them both, I hope her husband is able to seek assistance. — An Ohio Reader
Dear Ohio Reader:I appreciate your useful ideas. Indeed, persistent procrastination may indicate a more serious issue.
The first step in determining whether Tired of Waiting actually has ADHD is to speak with a physician. Your post serves as a helpful reminder to all readers that apparent insecurity or lethargy can frequently be an indication of a more serious problem.
How Can My Partner Who Cheated Be Forgiven? is currently available! Both print and e-book versions of Annie Lane’s second anthology, which includes her favorite pieces on marriage, adultery, communication, and reconciliation, are available. For additional information, go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com. For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].
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