Greetings, Miss MannersSix adults and two little children were among the friends and relatives I had invited to my house for Christmas supper and a celebration.
One visitor, who had spent the entire week before Christmas bedridden due to a bad case of the flu, was the issue. I stayed in contact with this person during her illness.
Even though she claimed to be completely recovered on Christmas Day, she still sounded sickly and irritated when speaking on the phone. I felt compelled to safeguard both my elderly and vulnerable guests as well as myself. I told her to stay at home and take care of herself, and we would meet up the next week once she was feeling better.
That’s where things went wrong. I received a barrage of unpleasant texts and insults from my ailing friend, who took issue at this uninvitation. The nastiness persisted, but I remained civil.
All messages and texts have now been blocked. Friendship is over. Was it incorrect of me to attempt to shield my visitors and myself from possible disease?
PERSONAL READER:Depending on how you put it, yes. Expressing your deepest sympathies to your ailing buddy and then expressing gratitude for her selfless sacrifice to keep your celebration intact is the proper sequence. A commitment to do something exceptional once she recovers follows this.
You appear to have completed all of that based on your account. Just to make sure you didn’t go too far with the Typhoid Mary strategy, Miss Manners says, “Don’t you come breathing your germs on us?”
Such an approach may be justified in its concern, but the germ-carrying individuals do not like it. It wouldn’t, however, justify your ex-friend’s excessive response.
Greetings, Miss MannersThis Christmas, I received a ton of solicitations for charity in the mail. These letters took a lot of time, money, and effort. However, I rarely, if ever, receive recognition for my contributions to several of these groups. I occasionally need to get a receipt for tax purposes only.
In addition to being polite, thanking a donation may persuade the giver to make another donation. If not, previous contributors might not make another donation.
I have removed a number of organizations from my authorized list as a result of the rudeness. With any luck, these comments will inspire more recognition.
PERSONAL READER:Did all of your family members thank you in writing for the gifts you gave them?
You may be certain that Miss Manners isn’t bringing that up to imply that thanks isn’t required anymore. Only that they are few, even from those who become irate if they don’t receive positive feedback on the lunch photo they uploaded.
It is incredibly stupid of charities to ignore this or to stifle gratitude by combining it with more requests. Miss Manners is aware that this has led other donors to make gifts elsewhere, in addition to you.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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