Greetings, Miss MannersAt the last minute, my brother-in-law abruptly told us that he would be spending Christmas at our place. When he comes, he goes to bed till about ten o’clock.
My spouse and I are parents to three children, aged eight, three, and eight months. Should we let the kids open presents before their uncle wakes up, talk to him about waking sooner because it’s Christmas, or have the kids wait till he wakes up?
He probably wouldn’t mind if we didn’t wait for him.
PERSONAL READER:So why are you thinking of twisting small children against their uncle and hurting them?
The only civility Miss Manners recommends is informing your brother-in-law that he is free to sleep in and that the kids will be opening their presents at seven if they can wait that long.
Greetings, Miss MannersEvery year on Christmas Eve, my husband and I go to his parents’ celebration. We normally leave at 4 p.m. and return home at 9 p.m. They set out a little bowl of nuts, bread, and deli meats.
Everyone contributes something different to the meal. Usually, I cook meatballs or noodles. Everything we offer is eaten every year!
My father-in-law said this year that they don’t want anyone to bring anything because they always have so much food left over. I can’t decide whether to obey their desires and go hungry for the evening or bring food nonetheless because it’s always devoured.
PERSONAL READER:Miss Manners seems to understand your father-in-law’s instruction and the rationale behind it. Why do you think you might break it?
You don’t go hungry, I see. You can definitely eat before you go if the food given is insufficient.
That hunger, though, can be for the praise you receive for the food you serve. Fair enough, but it’s still not a reason to disregard the host’s stated desire.
However, you will be pleased when someone asks, “You didn’t bring your wonderful pasta dish?” All year long, I eagerly await that. Hopefully, this will be brought up during your father-in-law’s hearing.
Greetings, Miss MannersA few years ago, my brother and I (I’ve never been married, and he’s divorced) purchased a house jointly. John and Jim Doe are frequently the recipients of Christmas cards, invitations, and other items intended for the two of us.
We appear to be a couple based on this. Isn’t it more fitting to use Jim and John Doe to address the envelope?
I’m not a prude, and we both find amusement in the seeming gaffe, but am I correct in my assessment of the proper way to address a letter?
PERSONAL READER:As far as Miss Manners is concerned, it is customary to match the names of siblings who live at the same address without even considering their relationship. Only, appropriately, it would have been The Messrs. Jim and John Doe.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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