Greetings, Miss MannersAlthough I was raised to always be courteous to everyone, it seems that society is becoming less concerned with this as I get older.
Even placing a coffee order can occasionally lead to misunderstandings. When I’m just trying to be kind, common decency is mistakenly seen as making advances on someone. Since my civility is so often ignored, there are moments when I just want to be rude. I think this also happens to other men.
PERSONAL READER:Miss Manners needs to make sure of a few important things before she chastises the rest of the rude world and comes to your rescue:
Do you call servers “honey” or “sweetie” as part of your attempt to be kind? When placing an order, are they looking anywhere but at their eyes? Making any kind of remarks about the way they look?
Was your response “no, no, and definitely not”? Fantastic.
Even though rude people do exist in the world, you must continue to be kind. There is no other way to improve it.
Greetings, Miss MannersYesterday, I received the heartbreaking news that my neighbors’ young adult son had died.
These neighbors are strangers to me. Although our children are the same age, they rarely played together and went to different schools. Mostly via my window, I witnessed this young man’s development.
Last night, I happened to be up late and witnessed the parents coming home from the hospital. I considered asking them if they might spend some time at my place before returning to their younger children, but I decided that would probably be too intrusive.
What can I do to show them kindness instead of attracting attention to myself, aside than sending a card of sympathy?
PERSONAL READER:Ask politely if they require assistance with the kids. Tell them that the entire family is welcome to visit your home at any time.
Although Miss Manners is unsure if they will accept, it is a considerate gesture that they might value and find helpful in the future.
Greetings, Miss MannersI’m looking for a courteous method to control an overly giving friend.
My group of friends regularly gets together for potluck dinners by a nearby lake during the summer months. The SMS chain has read, “Great, I’ll bring a salad!” for years. I’ll be there. I can bring some hamburgers. Alright! Allow me to bring brownies. It’s enjoyable and low key.
One friend has repeatedly declared that she just prepared, say, two extra pots of chili or ten extra short ribs, along with a large salad and a side dish. She will simply bring everything.
Although this is great once or twice, I believe it alters our collective approach on purpose when done repeatedly. What advice would you give?
PERSONAL READER:Though I believe others would wish to contribute, your feasts are more than generous. We will all be less burdened if you don’t mind bringing only one dish rather than several. We also get to sample each other’s cuisine.
Which may be the reason this buddy took over the meals in the first place, now that Miss Manners thinks about it.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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